How I learned to stop living in extremes and began to trust the neutral space within
For a long time, I believed growth meant choosing the right side.
Strong or soft. Disciplined or surrendered. Ambitious or present. Spiritual or practical.
I didn’t realise I was exhausting myself by swinging between opposites.
This was before I understood the principle of Polarity.
Polarity Exists in Everything
Life is built on opposing forces.
Inhale and exhale.
Light and shadow.
Expansion and contraction.
Masculine and feminine.
Polarity is not a problem to solve, it is a dynamic to be held.
But without awareness, polarity turns into inner conflict. I would move into devotion and softness, then swing back into force and control. Neither state felt sustainable.
The Trap of Either/Or
When polarity is unconscious, we try to identify with one pole.
I noticed this in myself: When I leaned into structure, I lost flow. When I leaned into flow, I lost containment. When I chose productivity, I felt disconnected. When I chose rest, I felt guilty.
This constant oscillation wasn’t balance, it was fragmented.
The Neutral Point Changed Everything
Polarity transformed for me when I stopped choosing sides and started practicing compassionate witnessing.
Instead of asking, “Which part is right?” I asked, “Can I hold both without collapsing into either?”
This is the neutral point.
Not numb.
Not detached.
But present, spacious, aware.
From here, polarity integrates instead of competing.
Mind Alchemy in Real Life
Fear didn’t need eliminating, it needed meeting. Desire didn’t need chasing, it needed grounding.
When I stayed present, fear softened into information, desire clarified into direction, and tension resolved into choice.
My nervous system stopped swinging wildly.
My decisions became steadier.
My leadership became less performative and more embodied.
Masculine and Feminine Within Me
This principle was pivotal in my leadership journey.
I stopped trying to be soft all the time or strong all the time. Instead, I learned to listen for what the moment required.
Sometimes leadership asked for clarity and direction. Sometimes it asked for listening and receptivity. Neither was superior. Both were necessary.
A Lived Inquiry
Instead of asking, “Which part of me should win?” try asking, “What becomes possible if both are allowed to exist?”
The answer often surprises you.
Embodied Integration
Polarity stops being exhausting when you stop resisting it.
When you can stand in the middle, you respond instead of react, you choose instead of swing, you lead instead of compensate.
This is where coherence deepens.
Closing Reflection
I didn’t find peace by choosing the “right” side of myself.
I found it by becoming spacious enough to hold all of me.